Sonya

Sitting at the river, the sun shining, the birds are singing, and for once, there are no bugs.

You can look across the entire sky and not see one cloud. In the forest, men are hunting.

They are hunting monkeys. Do you know how they hunt monkeys in the forest? I have never done it myself, however, I was at a convention and someone told me one version of how you hunt monkeys.

Monkey’s Love One Nut

Monkeys are smart, but also a little stupid. A monkey can learn to hold a rock, use it as a striking tool and open shells, and other cool stuff. A monkey can even learn to grip a branch and swing it like a club, yelling at the other monkeys in a masterful display of dominance. Pretty smart, for an animal, hey? As I said earlier, they are also a little stupid.

You see a monkey hunter, he knows the weakness of the monkey.

He takes a glass jug, with a narrow, elongated neck. He puts a nut in the bottle, making sure its easily visible, and ties one end of the jug to a tree.

The monkey saunters along, no noticing the rope, the bottle or the hiding hunter, that monkey just sees the nut.

And wants it.

He wants that nut, because its right there, he won’t have to climb the tree or work for it, its

RIGHT THERE.

The monkey sticks his hand into the jug, sliding it along the neck and just grasps that nut.

Now he tries to take his hand out, but here is the thing, as long as he is hanging on to the nut, his closed fist won’t fit in the neck of the bottle, trapping the nut enclosed fist.

Now the hunter emerges from the bushes and knocks the monkey across the skull, bashing his head in, and bagging the body.

Brutal.

What do you think the monkey was thinking of? The tree is full of nuts, they are all around him, but he won’t let go of that nut. He is so consumed by the nut in his fist that he does not see the man coming up to bash him.

A little stupid, I said.

I do not say it without being able to relate to the monkey just a little. How many things do I refuse to let go of?

I might not have a hunter coming up behind me with a club, but I do repeat the same things over and over. Those messages from sources rooted deep in time, that literally do not even have a physical voice anymore, other than the one I give them.

Letting Go of Your Nuts

When I choose to…

What messages have you heard time and time again?

* “Men don’t cry” Oh yeah? And why not? The human body releases chemicals when we cry, its heals, oh yes, and it takes strength to cry, and really, not the teary, I just won Miss Teen Melfort type of cry, I mean the snot, slobber and tears flying everywhere cry…try it…

* “Don’t cry or I will give you something to cry about” Really? You really think I need more of a reason? I mean, “ Extreme Make Over- Home Edition is all the reason I need…when in doubt, watch Oprah, she can make a tear appear!

* “Don’t be a tattletale” So the message behind this is one of never talk about it, whatever “IT” is, just bottle it up, hold it in, and bash yourself over the head with it over and over. Telling, or talking about things, really does lighten the load we choose to carry, healing is a process, and starts with openness, honesty and a willingness to not only look at those moments, but to acknowledge the strength and grace it takes to grow into adulthood despite the challenges.

And a personal favorite, “ You would be so pretty if you just lost weight”. Really? Would I?

I am pretty, at any size, btw, I have a wonderful smile…

So in my quest to learn how to let go of the nut, and stop bashing myself across the head, I can learn better messages, ones I choose to learn and grow into.

That inner voice can be used to lead us into the light, and literally out of the darkness.

This monkey might have made a stupid choice, but am by no means a stupid monkey, and even an old Monkey can learn new tricks!