Tania

It doesn’t matter who you are or what you believe in or even how you intend your words to be heard, your truth will always be interpreted and often misinterpreted by the way the words you speak were experienced by others in their past. And at this point in my life, I am so damn tired of fighting the legacy of words spoken by the idiots who came before me. You see, we often speak the same language but have very different INTENTIONS behind why we choose our words and our actions. But it takes so much energy and careful planning to PROVE that what you are saying is means something totally different that how the words have been spoken in the past.

The Legacy of Idiots

So let’s take a stab at the word “commitment” again. It’s a word that every strong, independent woman is often afraid to say to any man in fear of looking like the legacy of needy women who think that if someone says they are committed to them then it must be true. Note to these kinds of women: Head out of ass. Words alone mean shit, unless the actions come before the promise. And these kinds of women are killing it for the rest of us that need a something entirely different from the word commitment.

Resiliency Is Just a By-Product

If your childhood looked anything like mine, there was no guarantee that your world would fall apart at the drop of the hat. You may have spent your life trying to evaluate what was going to happen so that you knew how you would respond to survive. Not just be secure, but to survive. Over time you may have been able to predict what was going to happen but you never felt safe. Your only defense is that you could survive through the unpredictable with relative resiliency. But like me, you’re not a little girl anymore and at some point you realize that you can do more things with your life when you are not waiting for the bottom to drop out.

I am Committed to Everything

I am a single mom who has a crazy work schedule. I love everything that I do with my time and have accepted (not without a fight) that I only have 24 hours in the day. I have tried going on a date and the dude (though never getting a text back) who asks me out again immediately gets upset when I say, “My next day off is 4 months from now” That’s my reality. I am busy with work, children, and taking care of myself. I have no desire to spend every waking moment of my life with the same person, but it would definitely be cool to have someone in my corner cheering for me and acknowledging that my lack of time has nothing to do with my lack of commitment to a normal adult relationship.

I Deserve a Bright Spot

And even more, I deserve to have a bright spot in my life. Something to look forward to in the midst of all my craziness. I want to have the opportunity to get ready for a night out or a night in with someone who just wants to hang out with me. Not me and my many roles, but JUST TANIA. But the odds are kind of stacked against a strong, independent woman from the start and you can’t even have the conversation about commitment to a real relationship without sharing the legacy of generations of needy women. And even if you do that, your ability to commit to something real has nothing to do with the amount of time you spend with someone so it just seems ridiculous to even try because the whole world has their own interpretations behind the stupid word in the first place. On the flip side, with 7 billion people in the world, there has to be someone who sees how inherently detrimental the “C” word is to strong, independent woman who is even afraid to say that is what they need in their life.