Swagger with grace

Tania

When I first started my career, I learned a very valuable lesson about working with difficult youth. I was taught that I should think about youth like an ATM machine and I should never try to take out more than I put in. By far that has been the best lesson that I learned about my work and oddly about any relationship, especially those annoyingly intense intimate ones.

Always Against the Odds

First deficit, I am a woman who loves to take care of people. Second, I am independent and like to do things for myself. Third, I can spend years in the emotional deprivation zone and function just fine. Hell, I was married in one for 16 years. So interestingly enough it is quite easy for someone like me to become more like an emotional soup kitchen for people who can’t or won’t invest anything into what I need or want and that means disaster eventually.

Tania

It doesn’t matter who you are or what you believe in or even how you intend your words to be heard, your truth will always be interpreted and often misinterpreted by the way the words you speak were experienced by others in their past. And at this point in my life, I am so damn tired of fighting the legacy of words spoken by the idiots who came before me. You see, we often speak the same language but have very different INTENTIONS behind why we choose our words and our actions. But it takes so much energy and careful planning to PROVE that what you are saying is means something totally different that how the words have been spoken in the past.

The Legacy of Idiots

Tania

Although, there are a lot of prophecies throughout many nations around world that say the world will end on 12/21/12. I may be an intense idealist but I am not convinced that it means literally. I live in metaphors and like to look for the deeper meanings behind what I can see in my life. And at some point I will share these metaphors with you and what they mean to me. For example the other night, in the middle of suburbia I was visited by an animal, probably a lost stray dog, but it looked exactly like a wolf. It stood and watched me for about ten minutes, just staring at me from across the street. In my world that means something but to the rest of the world it might mean someone’s dog got loose.

“Be The Change”

Tania

As the days become shorter I start to anticipate what the fall will bring. There is something about new books, school supplies that always shifts me into “This is the year to be organized” mode, but alas I know that I mean well but I kind of like my fly off the seat of my pants lifestyle.

I have tried many times to pretend that I will stay organized, use a day planner instead of a “where are you Tania?” text to remind me of where I am supposed to be but in the end I know that I won’t keep the organization and a cool biologist gave me this word of biological wisdom: Creation can only occur in chaos.