Swagger with grace

Tania

As months pass, I am finally getting comfortable with the idea of living in middle class suburbia. I have to say that it has not been without its challenges in fact one polite woman asked me very indirectly if all my children had the same father (WTF?). After I bought my house I told my Mom that I was going to put a huge sign on my front lawn that said “Thanks to all my baby daddies, for making my dreams come true” My Mom gave me the “Too far” look and we laughed it off.

Men In Blue

Tania

It seems that I have been talking about gambling all week, so today I am going to equate gambling to a particular type of relationship that so many women seem to be attracted to or more accurately, addicted to! When a woman comes to me for advice about their intimate relationship, which is way too often a very difficult relationship (why else would you want help, right?) one of the first things I say is that you have to know the rules of the game. One young woman responded by saying, “I hate games and don’t want to play any,” “Unfortunately, you’re already playing, you just happen to be losing.”

The Man or the Game

Tania

So I was at my naturopath’s today. I have been seeing her for about 5 years now and she is amazing. I love a doctor that teaches me about life, health, and balance from a very accepting and peaceful way. She has done more for my well-being than any other Western-based modality has done for me in my life. In between trying to regulate my adrenal glands, nervous system, and “broken” heart, we have time to talk about life and higher purpose.

I AM DONE PLANNING

I told her all about my quit happy plan and how I was not going to be creating a plan for vitamins and homeopathy as scheduled because I was tired of the LIST of things I needed to do to be happy. We talked about life and how I was afraid to get happy and quit everything that I loved when it got real. And just as my story was getting good, she stopped me and said, “Tania, whose voice is that?” WTF did I now have multiple personalities too? “What do you mean?” I asked.

Sonya

So I was sitting at work one day, venting to a co- worker about the events occurring over the past month.

It Looks Different to the “Normal” People
In my world, I have had the pleasure and privilege to know a lot of really amazing people. My coworker listened,nodded in all the right places and asked me what it was about me that led me to continue to have high risk relationships. He went on to wonder aloud what it was about me that attracted me to have contact with the sort of people who overdose, or are murdered, or are in crisis due to their addictions.
I was taken aback, as the relationships I was talking about were in my mind that day as one friend had overdosed in the same week another friend’s sister was killed trying to intervene in a parking lot brawl.

The Stable Thing is The Playground Lessons