Swagger with grace

Tania

It seems that I have been talking about gambling all week, so today I am going to equate gambling to a particular type of relationship that so many women seem to be attracted to or more accurately, addicted to! When a woman comes to me for advice about their intimate relationship, which is way too often a very difficult relationship (why else would you want help, right?) one of the first things I say is that you have to know the rules of the game. One young woman responded by saying, “I hate games and don’t want to play any,” “Unfortunately, you’re already playing, you just happen to be losing.”

The Man or the Game

Tania

Yesterday I told you about my Vegas dreams, so today I want to tell you about my Vegas reality. My trip was so much better than I could have possibly dreamt of. When we arrived in Vegas, one of the girls had a limosine waiting for us at the airport, his first stop-the infamous “Welcome to Vegas” sign that you see in all the movies. We were absolutely pumped and laughing hysterically at the fact that we had so much luggage he had to bungee cord his trunk to keep it from falling out (I literally dumped clothes from a garbage bag and tossed them wildly into my suitcase the night before).

Feeling Things Out

Tania

One of the biggest dreams that I had as an adult was to take a girls trip to Vegas. My Bff and I wanted to rent a convertible and ride through the desert with scarves like Thelma and Louise. In fact, she made her Mom sign a contract when her child was born that she would watch her son for a week whenever we finally got motivated to make this happen, which was about 13 years ago.

Buy Non-Refundable Tickets

Last year we decided to quit making excuses and go ahead and start planning. I worked extra jobs to pay for it and we bought all of our tickets in advance. So four girls, five days in Vegas for shopping, clubs, horseback riding through the canyons, a sexy convertible, and of course Chippendales! It was our dream for so long and we had never been away without our children. It was like planning a dream I never thought that I would actually see come true.

Tania

Over the years I have spent a lot of time chasing things that I thought would make me “happy”. Part of me blames a difficult childhood where I learned to look outside of myself and my environment to define normal. Oh God I wanted to live with the Brady Bunch so badly!!! The other part that seriously impacted my belief system was that society continually reinforced what will make for the perfect “happily ever after” (in a capitalist society). I wanted what other people had so desperately that I continually looked outside myself to define this for me. And that is what a CHILD should do, but I am haven’t been a little girl for a very long time.

And of course I learned the hard way that having a nice house, a great education, cool toys, and a big family (dogs included) will not make me feel complete, in fact it can often make a person feel even lonelier than when they didn’t have the “normal” stuff.